What is it with tai chi these days?!

During a walk in the woods, I decided to give it a try. Tai chi. Everyone talks about it: good for your balance, calming, your inner energy flowing like a babbling brook. At least, that brook sounded appealing, because my inner energy usually flows more like an espresso on a Monday morning.

I'd seen a video: a man in a park slowly waving his arms as if he were kneading an invisible giant jelly. "I can do that too," I thought. So there I was, standing in the middle of the woods, arms raised, slowly turning, deeply focused on… uh… nothing.

Just then, a walker with his dog passed by. He stopped, looked at me, looked at the dog, and asked, "Are you okay, sir? Should I call an ambulance?" I said, "No, tai chi." He nodded as if he knew exactly what that was, but subtly pulled his dog a meter further.

A little later, a group of joggers passed by. They slowed down, whispered among themselves, and one of them said, "I think he's doing some secret ninja training." I tried to look extra mysterious, but my shoe got caught on a root, and my "energy movement" ended in an unplanned tai chi roll on a wet tree trunk.

Then a forest ranger came by. "What are you doing?" he asked sternly. "Seeking inner balance," I said. He looked at my muddy pants, my arms in a strange pose, and my half-fallen cap. "That balance is clearly still on vacation," he said, and walked on.

Finally, I sat down on a bench, out of breath, completely zen… mostly because I was too tired to move. Then I realized: tai chi may be very elegant and spiritual… but in the forest, it mostly looks like you're slowly being abducted by an invisible alien.

Since then, I've just been walking.

With normal arm movements.

And without an audience. 😅